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Finding Freedom: Bev's Story

“I waited patiently for the Lord, and He inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; many will see it and fear, and will trust in the Lord.”

Psalm 40:1-3

God gave me these verses in 1995, and they accurately describe my life before and after June 1995. How does a person go from drowning in a horrible pit to being lifted upon a rock and singing praises? There is only one answer, and that answer is God!

This is my story and testimony of God’s redemption and healing after the self-inflicted wound of an abortion. I would like to say that it all started in 1979 with the abortion, but that’s not exactly true. It started a few years before as I began searching for acceptance and love in “all the wrong places.” Eventually, that will catch up with you, and so it did for me about 3 months before my high school graduation.

By 1979, abortion had only been legal in the U.S. for 6 years. I had never even heard the word abortion prior to my own. And I definitely had no understanding of what it involved or how it would change my life forever. Nevertheless, I chose to terminate the life of my unborn child through abortion. How does a mother live with the trauma of taking the life of her own child? For many women, they turn to drugs, alcohol or other means of self-inflicted pain and destructive behaviors. I was no different.

For 16 years, I lived with the guilt, shame, pain and trauma of what I had done. I buried my secret sin so deeply, hoping to forget and desperately trying to make the pain stop. But you can’t forget, and the pain never ends. UNTIL….

UNTIL …you meet the only One who can heal your broken heart and put your shattered life back together. The beginning of that journey happened for me during the first week of June 1995. I had an opportunity to go away for a week to a post-abortion retreat with other women who had experienced abortions. It was there that God did the most incredible work in my heart and life. There are no words to describe my encounter with the Lord that week. All I can say is that He met me in my sin and my brokenness and began a work in my heart and life that continues to this day. It has been 26 years since that week, but tears and gratitude still flow from my heart as I remember what The Lord has done!

My encouragement for you is this: no matter how deep your pit is, no matter whether it was dug by you or by someone else, God is always there waiting for you to cry out. And when you do, He leans down, picks you up and places you on a firm foundation of His forgiveness and love! And He puts a new song of praise in your heart! To God be the glory forever! Amen!

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